Psychological Garlic

[vianegativa]

I'm happy to talk to anyone about their problems, with the caveat that is only so long as they're willing to try to fix them.

I am over-tired of people who seek a sympathetic ear for the sole purpose of seeking attention through talking about how miserable they are. I haven't the time for it any longer. If someone wishes to remain miserable, I don't have the energy to give them; it's almost a form of vampirism where some wretch, freshly wallowed in his own pathos, decides to take the positive energy you have to feel better about themselves. Tears, false threats of suicide and self pity are all the weapons of this despicable creature. Of course, they won't heed a word of advice, and they'll be back at your door for another fix of positivity in a few days time.

I need to develop the psychological equivalent of garlic for these soul-suckers.

Or just drive a stake through their heart.

Comments

[baeritone.livejournal.com]

While I think that some people who come to our doors repeatedly for help have a genuine problem (neurochemical or otherwise), I agree that some people just don't know what it is to give - they simply know how to take.

It's difficult, though, for those of us with the healer mentality to stop giving to them. Good luck to you, on your quest for walls of virtual garlic.

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

I'm of a healer mentality as well, but I've recently learned that my resources are finite & I need to choose carefully where I direct my energies.

Why pour my soul into a bottomless cup?

[ericdabear.livejournal.com]

A FREAKING MEN!

[arshermetica.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I usually tell em to just get on with it and off themselves already. Which is probably why no one bothers me for that kinda crap anymore.

[analog-guy.livejournal.com]

I agree completely.

I'm also sincerely hoping, based on our last few conversations, that you are NOT talking about me.

I think it's healthy to be angry and to vent sometimes (which I have been doing lately). But I know a few people who are trapped in a hell that they really have the power to get out of (ie, in desperately unhappy relationships) and don't, but do nothing except throw off negativity and complain about the partner.

I know from your side....I can identify. I've gotten too deeply into the mentor role to friends, and forget that sometimes, all anyone needs is for someone to actually listen and acknowledge. For a strong person, that's fuel enough to sustain them for a while. But yeah, it's hard when you know no matter what you do, that person is a bottomless well and you can never fill them up.

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

No, this is directed at someone else.

You know me, bud. Our relationship is strong enough that if I thought you were being a whiny prick, I'd tell you. :-)

[analog-guy.livejournal.com]

Well, I *visit* whiny prickdom.

But if it looks like I'm moving in, PLEASE let me know! LOL.

[beardarren.livejournal.com]

Well to take an opposite view... Sometimes people don't want a "fix" for their problems. Sometimes they just want a sympathetic ear. Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It's a very male tendancy to want to fix things. Where as it's more of a female trait to empathize. As a friend, I generally try to do both and I expect my "friends" to do the same.

[ink-ling.livejournal.com]

Yeah: I think everyone should get one (1) "venting" on a particular issue. No more venting until the circumstances are different. And there are certain issues where I need to remember that myself.

[indeterminacy.livejournal.com]

I have clear / simple solutions to my problems...sum them up in a file called The Road Less Traveled...cliche, perhaps...

[booboobob.livejournal.com]

Well, you can always try telling this person/these people that while you're willing to lend a sympathetic ear, you aren't capable of fixing their problems.

In other words, tell the truth, however unkind it may be.

[jiminwi36.livejournal.com]

HUUUUUUM makes we wounder. I keep telling you the same thing but no one listens to me either.

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

Not at all.