The Answer Is No

[vianegativa]

There is a difference between helping someone and living their life for them.

There is no way in hell I'm going to do the latter.

If no one has quite caught on to this yet, here's a little secret: I can't save you. I can't fix you, I can't make you popular, I can't get you your dream job, I can't give you six pack-abs and killer conversational skills. I do not owe anyone the debt of lifting them up from their own life & giving them some fairytale of Beardom. Even if I could, I wouldn't.

The thing a lot of people miss about their life is that they're actually required to live it.

I'm furious & I'm done.

Comments

[supervenusfreak.livejournal.com]

That is a lesson in life that alot of folks need to learn. You can't do it for them.

[dedos.livejournal.com]

Wow, there is so much going on in your life that's always a surprise to me when I find out about it. I hope you remember to breathe, and let go.

[grande.livejournal.com]

wtf you're not going to make me a bear god ? :(

disappointed!

[standardtom.livejournal.com]

wtf u ARE a bear god

[grande.livejournal.com]

ohwlawdy.

Understood

[scrwtape.livejournal.com]

As clergy, this is one of the hardest lessons to learn. You want to assist where you can but you cannot live people's lives. You must also guard against parasites and other such "black holes" who usually are quite adept at getting the effective attention they crave.

Then when they *stop* getting what they starve for, they can then turn to doing what they can to hurt and otherwise provoke a reaction out of you. Negative attention is still attention, plus these master manipulators can usually also ply sympathetic attention from someone else.

Being on guard against these types of things are, in my opinion, some of the most valuable life lessons people can learn.

Re: Understood

[shdwpoet.livejournal.com]

Wow. Honestly, that isn't what I'd expect a clergyman to say. :) But it does makes sense, particularly for someone in a position of counsel, to have to put up some mental barriers against negaholics. But I've never heard of them referred to as 'parasites'. Food for thought, I guess.

Re: Understood

[scrwtape.livejournal.com]

that isn't what I'd expect a clergyman to say. What would you expect a member of the Clergy to say.

Second, I'm not Xtian Clergy I'm a Asatru (www.thetroth.org) priest (called a Godhi) and thus perhaps more direct than others.

Third, There are many denominations that may not call these types "parasites" but the term "Clergy Killers" are becoming an area of concern.

Recognizing people with "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" (http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html#npd) and similar disorders that, in my opinion, prey on the types of people who are drawn or called to be Clergy, often become these "Clergy Killers" and is being explored in many mainstream religions as well as the one's off the beaten path like mine.

People tend to have unrealistic ideals of what being clergy is or should be. First and foremost, they are people too. We have our calling and are a service to our Folk and congregations but there is a line that we must draw. People who are these "parasites" want more, usually much more, than understood lines.

We are not talking about someone in a real spiritual crisis or otherwise situation but people who create or manipulate situations to create crisis so they get the appropriate amount of attention ... even if it is negative attention.

Re: Understood

[shdwpoet.livejournal.com]

Ahh. Gotcha. I actually know a couple of Asatru here in Chicago. Very cool belief set and pantheon. I have a lot of respect for paganism and have no problems with assuming all clergy are based on Christianity.

It's just that my sister and I the other day had a discussion about just these sorts of people. We didn't use the term parasites because the word just didn't occur to us. But the more I think about it, the more I agree.

To put a more hackneyed spin on it, psychic Sylvia Brown calls these people "Dark Entities", their purpose on Earth to sap the strength and joy from good people, like spiritual leeches. Weird, no?

Thanks much for the clarification, by the way. :)

[jiminwi36.livejournal.com]

The beary god father dancing around the room siging bibby boppad SPOOOOG.

no matter how hard you try some people will not get it. It Time for them to Grow up and get on with there Own life.


Love ya babe
you one and only evil bitch and you know there is more i could say but i was told that i cant send peple to the nut house with my words of wisdom

[emgalston.livejournal.com]

u sound like u need a big hug!!!

[redcub.livejournal.com]

While I love the quote, I have to disagree. If we were required to "live our lives," social work as we know it would cease to exist.

And this would be a great thing!

Too many damn people are working with the "life (optional)" assumption.

But yeah, you can't help anyone, they (and you) can only help themselves.

[shdwpoet.livejournal.com]

Very sorry to hear about whatever it is that's gotten you down. Sure hope it wasn't me. I enjoy our talks, but don't mean to dump any problems on you, man. All the best to you! *hug*