I am a Tween Sex Symbol and that is why the Oprah-Spider hates me

[vianegativa]

Apparently last night I had a dream so potently frightful that I was sitting up in bed yelling in alarm when the boys came running, thinking I was being murdered.

For the life of me, I could not tell you where I wandered in that dream.

HOWEVER.

The next dream had me in the body of Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen from the movie Twilight. This confounds me as I have neither read the book or seen the movie, though I did read the wiki a few weeks back so I could understand why there were flocks of prepubescent girls mobbing a video store yet a further month back.

There I was, Robert Pattinson, on Oprah, desperately trying to guide the conversation from how awesome my hair was to what a classically trained actor (I'm so sure he is of course) I was. Oprah took this time to of course to morph into a man eating spider-woman and I was forced to lead a throng of moon-eyed teenage girls to their escape.

I understand the elements of memory that my mind pulled this all from, but dear God.

I never want to feel a teen heartthrob's ennui ever again.

Although, my hair was PERFECT.

Comments

[benpanced.livejournal.com]

Awright, mister. No more double chicken tacodillas from Taco Pit before bedtime!

[orious.livejournal.com]

*gawps at you*

Robert Pattinson actually came to my mall on a tour promoting that god awful movie. My boss stood next to him and supposedly he smells. So despite your perfect hair you may want to invest in some soap the next time you romp around HARPO Studios

[baeritone.livejournal.com]

Ironically, Robert Pattinson has had a fairly distinguished career up to this point. He had misgivings, ostensibly, about accepting the role, but I think his mind landed in his wallet, and here we are. Lord help him.