Stealth Asshole Rant

[vianegativa]

I do appreciate obvious assholes, drama-bombs and users for one reason:

They're obvious.

No muss, no fuss. They could state their attitude more clearly only if they had shirts printed up saying: "I'm an utter fuckwit. I'll abuse you, use you for everything you're worth then skip along to my next masterpiece of skullduggery." Hitler was an obvious asshole, glaring brightly like a bird-shit stain on a little black dress at the Oscars. Leona Helmsley? Obvious asshole. Manson, Drew Peterson, Rod Blagojevich, Ryan Seacrest. All assholes you could spot from orbit, and we owe them thanks for that. eternal gratitude to them because their douchery is like a spotlight in the night sky.

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the hot mess who spams X-Tube with self-porn and who has an entry in Encyclopedia Dramatica, because let's face it, he's saving us so much footwork. The evidence of his assholic vocation abounds; no one is going to get to know him and cry out, "this is totally out of the blue! He seemed so nice!"

It's the completely mental control-freak jackasses that cloak their craziness in down-home homilies, Great Plains Midwestern wisdom and a sense of sly, winking condescension that piss me off. The fellows (by that I mean some folks on LJ) that act like elder statesman, all the while putting forth their own personal agenda, subtly. Those who fan the flames of a problem to get what they want. The person who holds their relationship up as some kind of paragon, then fucks around on their partner all the time. The person who's first to scathingly criticize people for having too much sex, never mind that they are doing it when they're in a bathhouse. The lout who likes to imply that everyone is cheating when he himself is fucking his friends partner on the down-low. The drunk who spends five nights a week slurring his words only to call anyone smoking pot "addicts."

What irks me still more is when people lap that shit up like Mother's Milk, eagerly hanging on every word a "stealh asshole" dribbles out of their mouth. I mean, I get to see a lot of the irony that flies around both on LJ and in real life and sometimes just a little observation will tell you that the "sainted bear of LJ" is really kind of a self-serving dick who's giving out crabs faster than Red Lobster during "Crabmania." I merely become frustrated because I often feel like nobody else sees very obvious displays of hypocrisy from people that get lionized. Or worse yet, people quietly accept the behavior for a chance to bed the offender. Or, still gaspingly worse is when people ask my opinion, I give it, they then promptly ignore it then bitch to me about it six months later. Example:

Happless Victime 1: "Hey, I heard you dated XXXX XXXXXXX. He & I flirt on Bear411. So what's his story?"

Me: "He stole money from me & he's a crackhead."

Happless Victim 1: "Oh, that can't be true! He's so nice! You're just a bitter ex! (storms off)"

Six months later:

Happless Victim #1: "XXXX XXXXXXX totally got me hooked on crack and gave me herpes!!!! Why didn't you warn meeeeee???? (begin endless whining tirade)"

Me: "sigh"

This is why when asked I often say I don't understand people very well at all. Or, I do and people are just way crazier than I give them credit for, which is an alternately dissappointing thought.

Ah well. Try to avoid the stealth assholes, kids.

/rant off

Comments

[grunter.livejournal.com]

The crabs at Red Lobster are tainted?!?

Now you tell me?

[beardarren.livejournal.com]

Do you feel better now?

And just a very brief counterpoint...
We're ALL hypocrites (even you) and EVERYONE is crazy.

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

Yes, I did feel better getting that off my chest. :-)

Ithink it's better to say everyone has moments, hypocritical or crazy. Its the ones that make lifestyles out of it that I deplore.

[beardarren.livejournal.com]

OK, but I guess my point is "Why waste the energy?" Look some of the people that you pointed out are way fucked up. They certainly have their personal demons and yes they sometimes lash out or screw others over with their fuckery. But why waste the time screaming "THE KETTLE IS BLACK! THE KETTLE IS BLACK!" When a scorpian stings someone, why act all surprised? Maybe what you dont understand about people is that people will do what is in their nature to do. And though that doesn't excuse bad behavior it is at the very least understandable. So, for me, I suppose the bottom line is that I try to keep the people who are worth while to me in my life. And for those who are not worth while for me I ignore. If one of those people does something that I am not pleased with I am forth right in denouncing it or correcting it if I can. What I don't believe in is attacking people. (Hence the example of the fella with an entry on Encyclopedia Dramatica) What good does that serve?!? Why attack someone who clearly has issues in the first place. Its not like that person is gonna read it and say, "Oh my goodness, I've been so wrong and terrible! I must mend my ways." No. It's just hurtful and perhaps even more damaging and causes that person to act out even further.

I just think its bad to let that sort of stuff get to you and it raises your blood pressure. We all need to take care of ourselves.

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

Hence goodly sir why I vent it here. :-)

It bugged me but I feel aces about it now, so mission accomplished.

[beardarren.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...
Havin a hard time buying that...

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

Well, I mean whether you buy it or not is less important than yeah, I blew off some steam and now feel a touch better.

[beardarren.livejournal.com]

lulz is sort of gross and juvenile is it not???

[mordant.livejournal.com]

The person who holds their relationship up as some kind of paragon, then fucks around on their partner all the time.

I know a couple of guys like this.. wanna know what's worse? When the person they are with is oblivious to it all, and all you can do is stand back and wait for Rome to burn.

As for having a public and a private agenda, thats par for the course man - but I agree you gotta draw a line in the sand between "oppurtunist" and "raging hypocrite".

This message was brought to you by 67,000 views, EDiot's for a better Internet, Inc., and the letter X.

[mooch.livejournal.com]

The saddest part is that your example isn't an exaggeration.

[beardarren.livejournal.com]

I am so putting you over my knee and spanking you mooch

[jss]

Is that supposed to be a deterrent or a reward?

[strongaxe.livejournal.com]

One problem I often hear is things like this:
A: "Yes, B was my partner, but he threw me out when I got sick"
B: "Yes, A was my partner, but he stole money from me"

So, whom do you believe? Is A an asshole, or is B an asshole, or are both of them assholes (or maybe they're both just decent people who have communications problems)? Unfortunately, it's hard for an uninformed third party to make an informed decision. (In a way, it's similar to choosing politicians or religions).

Another problem I have had too many times to count is slightly similar to the one you mention:
A: "I just fell in love with B, my soulmate for life"
me (thinking): "I know that I've just seen a picture of this person and didn't even know about him 5 minutes ago, and you've been with him for more than a month, trust me when I tell you that it's a Big Mistake"
(of course, we all know how well THAT would go over, so I keep silent)
Then, a few months later:
A: "Oh, it's horrible - he's the worse asshole on the planet! I wish somebody had warned me about him"
me: "I thought about it, but you would never have believed me"

[vianegativa.livejournal.com]

I only render opinions to people when asked and if you know me, you know that I can be fair even if I dislike someone. I can totally understand the dilemma, however.

[strongaxe.livejournal.com]

I often find myself torn between two opposing imperatives:
1) To stop people from stepping in front of an impeding train wreck, and
2) "The Prime Directive" - letting people run their own lives.

[backrubbear.livejournal.com]

You really should make something about the size of a business card that contains all of the relevant information with a blank for the current date. When approached by such folk again, just write in the date, hand them the card and suggest they refer to it when the inevitable happens.

Perhaps the banner on the card can read "I told you so".