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vianegativaIf I am anything, I'm a child of polarities, and because of that I'm posting an open apology to the furs and Furry community that were present at Midwest Fur Fest two weeks prior.
I attended Midwest Fur Fest hoping to learn a more about a subculture that many of my friends are in that I don't understand very well, and because of that lack of knowledge, have been unfair to. I wanted to see more of a culture I mocked from the safety of my game store because I had met a few "extreme" furs. Please note that by "extreme" I mean to say "rabid" and "pungent".
Well, regardless, with good intentions in heart I set off to learn more about the state of Furdom. I had dropped by the Schaumburg Hyatt on Thursday to drop off a commission fee to an artist for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fuzzbear, but since I had to work I didn't really get the chance to absorb the convention very much. I DID get to meet cuttercoon very breifly, as he was heading to the pool for a swim and I was walking through the Main Lobby with John.
After work on Friday I took in dinner with Mike at Houlihan's just so I could capture a breif visit with John. Bless his heart, when he brought me an Electric Lemonade, he had the bartender fill it up with extra Bacardi. By the end of the meal I was feeling warm and fuzzy all over. I agreed to meetdaveqat, street22, blithwulf, and Jim at Joe's Crab Shack just a bit down the street from the Hyatt.
When I arrived, I met Brian, akastreet22,who was being snuggled most fiercely by DaveQat. It was obvious that everyone was having a good time, and was a little toasty, so I joined them and had a swamp moss.
Ever drink one of those? I loved it. It made me feel like a Girl Drink Drunk. :-)
Well, after whiling away a few hours in the lobby and discovering the platonic meaning of the word "furpile", I had met and fell into "horny-like" withchronocoon, but really not made any overtures after the furpile. We went downstairs where I was promptly ignored as a "mundane", which was fine since I was able to observe most of the furs unmolested. I decided to head home around 3 AM, having reached my max on fur voyeurism.
Now on Saturday I had agreed, and in fact looked forward to getting tanked with Ray and Tony and running about the place with wild abandon. When I got to the hotel Saturday night I began my evening with Bacardi Limon and Sprite, a concotion my boss has told me of. I began to pound down drinks in order to catch up to the small amount Ray & Tony had been imbibing.
Therein lies my problem.
I'm not a mean drunk. I'm not a happy drunk. I'm a wild-eyed ecstaticly passionate FOOL of a drunk. I am a Robin Goodfellow mixed with Carrot Top kind of drunk. I am the drunk man you love to watch until he comes over to talk with YOU.
This was the night I was at the height of my obscenity. I would quiz random furs about the fandom, and truth be told not one was rude to me or offended at my questions. In the span of a few hours I learned more about the Natural History of Furs than an entire squad of MTV Vee Jays with camcorders set to "mock". It was an interesting experience.
A few things from that night stand out with painful clarity in my head:
*The fact that I luredchronocoon away from a gaming room to swoop him into my arms and lay a kiss on him (with tongue) just because I wanted to. Ah well.
*Telling Joe Norton over & over that "Wow, you really don't think much of me, do you?", and having him repeatedly agree with me. Joe drives me bonkers because he refuses to be friends with me based on the fact that I'm "Too Intense". Again, happy Matt just wanted to know WHY that was. Over, and over, and over....
*Crying while talking about something, not from sorrow but from joy. In sequence I remember a picture being taken, and someone saying I was having an "American Beauty" moment. I really wish I'd gotten that pic and was able to reference it to what I was saying.
*My one good memory was of my conversations withfuzzbear in the hallway. It was the highlight of my week, and I feel like I really cemented my friendship with Ray.
Sunday was marked by dehydration, getting a sketch of me as an anthropomorphic bear, and a very surreal and subdued breakfast at Denny's with various furs. After breakfast I drove the long way home from Schaumburg, letting backroads take me into some random deep thoughts on some pretty shallow subjects.
When I came back to the "Real World" later that week, it was pointed out to me by a few friends that I was less than charming or even-keeled in scope, and that I had offended quite a few people. I was proud of my excesses at the con until that point; I guess I steeped them in some kind of drunken bravado where I was so lovable the fumes from my breath were forgivable.
No such luck.
So, in no short order, I want the following people to please accept my most profound apologies:
daveqat, blithwulf, fuzzbear, Jim, ombraorsa, street22-- I am well and truly sorry. As your guest, my actions cast a bad pallor on you within your community, which is especially unforgiveable given that this was the first time I met Dave & Brian at all. I was an ass, and very sexually aggressive (so I'm told) in my candidness about sex. I didn't mean to intimidate Brian, or to be brusque.
cuttercoon-- I am sorry I dissapeared into a drunken stupor Friday through Sunday. One of the entire reasons I went to MFF was to meet you anyway, so in that it is definitely my loss. I do hope to get to know you better.
chronocoon-- Man, oh man, Jay. Words cannot express how bad I feel. I meant that sweeping kiss to be playful; I thought I had sensed an interest. I was very wrong I guess, and I really wish I could express how bad I feel about infringing on your boundaries. I hope to see you in person again to apologize.
Well, that's the long and short of it. I think I'll go find some hickory sticks to flagellate myself with.
I attended Midwest Fur Fest hoping to learn a more about a subculture that many of my friends are in that I don't understand very well, and because of that lack of knowledge, have been unfair to. I wanted to see more of a culture I mocked from the safety of my game store because I had met a few "extreme" furs. Please note that by "extreme" I mean to say "rabid" and "pungent".
Well, regardless, with good intentions in heart I set off to learn more about the state of Furdom. I had dropped by the Schaumburg Hyatt on Thursday to drop off a commission fee to an artist for
fuzzbear, but since I had to work I didn't really get the chance to absorb the convention very much. I DID get to meet cuttercoon very breifly, as he was heading to the pool for a swim and I was walking through the Main Lobby with John.After work on Friday I took in dinner with Mike at Houlihan's just so I could capture a breif visit with John. Bless his heart, when he brought me an Electric Lemonade, he had the bartender fill it up with extra Bacardi. By the end of the meal I was feeling warm and fuzzy all over. I agreed to meet
daveqat, street22, blithwulf, and Jim at Joe's Crab Shack just a bit down the street from the Hyatt.When I arrived, I met Brian, aka
street22,who was being snuggled most fiercely by DaveQat. It was obvious that everyone was having a good time, and was a little toasty, so I joined them and had a swamp moss.Ever drink one of those? I loved it. It made me feel like a Girl Drink Drunk. :-)
Well, after whiling away a few hours in the lobby and discovering the platonic meaning of the word "furpile", I had met and fell into "horny-like" with
chronocoon, but really not made any overtures after the furpile. We went downstairs where I was promptly ignored as a "mundane", which was fine since I was able to observe most of the furs unmolested. I decided to head home around 3 AM, having reached my max on fur voyeurism.Now on Saturday I had agreed, and in fact looked forward to getting tanked with Ray and Tony and running about the place with wild abandon. When I got to the hotel Saturday night I began my evening with Bacardi Limon and Sprite, a concotion my boss has told me of. I began to pound down drinks in order to catch up to the small amount Ray & Tony had been imbibing.
Therein lies my problem.
I'm not a mean drunk. I'm not a happy drunk. I'm a wild-eyed ecstaticly passionate FOOL of a drunk. I am a Robin Goodfellow mixed with Carrot Top kind of drunk. I am the drunk man you love to watch until he comes over to talk with YOU.
This was the night I was at the height of my obscenity. I would quiz random furs about the fandom, and truth be told not one was rude to me or offended at my questions. In the span of a few hours I learned more about the Natural History of Furs than an entire squad of MTV Vee Jays with camcorders set to "mock". It was an interesting experience.
A few things from that night stand out with painful clarity in my head:
*The fact that I lured
chronocoon away from a gaming room to swoop him into my arms and lay a kiss on him (with tongue) just because I wanted to. Ah well.*Telling Joe Norton over & over that "Wow, you really don't think much of me, do you?", and having him repeatedly agree with me. Joe drives me bonkers because he refuses to be friends with me based on the fact that I'm "Too Intense". Again, happy Matt just wanted to know WHY that was. Over, and over, and over....
*Crying while talking about something, not from sorrow but from joy. In sequence I remember a picture being taken, and someone saying I was having an "American Beauty" moment. I really wish I'd gotten that pic and was able to reference it to what I was saying.
*My one good memory was of my conversations with
fuzzbear in the hallway. It was the highlight of my week, and I feel like I really cemented my friendship with Ray.Sunday was marked by dehydration, getting a sketch of me as an anthropomorphic bear, and a very surreal and subdued breakfast at Denny's with various furs. After breakfast I drove the long way home from Schaumburg, letting backroads take me into some random deep thoughts on some pretty shallow subjects.
When I came back to the "Real World" later that week, it was pointed out to me by a few friends that I was less than charming or even-keeled in scope, and that I had offended quite a few people. I was proud of my excesses at the con until that point; I guess I steeped them in some kind of drunken bravado where I was so lovable the fumes from my breath were forgivable.
No such luck.
So, in no short order, I want the following people to please accept my most profound apologies:
daveqat, blithwulf, fuzzbear, Jim, ombraorsa, street22-- I am well and truly sorry. As your guest, my actions cast a bad pallor on you within your community, which is especially unforgiveable given that this was the first time I met Dave & Brian at all. I was an ass, and very sexually aggressive (so I'm told) in my candidness about sex. I didn't mean to intimidate Brian, or to be brusque.cuttercoon-- I am sorry I dissapeared into a drunken stupor Friday through Sunday. One of the entire reasons I went to MFF was to meet you anyway, so in that it is definitely my loss. I do hope to get to know you better.chronocoon-- Man, oh man, Jay. Words cannot express how bad I feel. I meant that sweeping kiss to be playful; I thought I had sensed an interest. I was very wrong I guess, and I really wish I could express how bad I feel about infringing on your boundaries. I hope to see you in person again to apologize.Well, that's the long and short of it. I think I'll go find some hickory sticks to flagellate myself with.
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Date: 2002-12-03 01:12 pm (UTC)~Street
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Date: 2002-12-06 07:21 am (UTC)