Some Drama For You, Pt. II
Dec. 15th, 2002 10:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vianegativaSo, here we are again.
I believe in honesty. I believe that people should be held accountable for their words, ill, divine, or just plain mean. I do not like people who manipulate using e-mails and conversations to perform backstage work for LJ, which IS boys & girls, a public forum. If one finds themselves using LJ as a platform to launch manipulations at me, I'll take it away.
The best thing about drama like this is under daylight, it tries to crawl back to the rock it crawled out from under. It seems a bit heavy-handed, I know, but i've dealt with this before, and I've learned some valuable lessons.
Once, I was accused of rape by someone as part of social sport. This drove me to new heights of insane rages. This person accused me of taking underage boys to the woods and using chemicals to knock them unconcious before I forced myself on them. He accused me of doing this dozens upon dozens of times and swore he knew the victims. He kept the names from everyone "to protect the innocent". What he proceeded to do was to wage a campaign of whispers against me, using e-mails and clandestine conversations to "warn" everyone he could about me.
Everyone who knows me wrote it off, but I was furious because I had an experience earlier in my life that made me twist at the idea that someone had slandered me with the very thing I despise.
On it went for months. People heard all the info, and were treated to custom-made lies propagated by this person. In the end, it became a morass of "he said, he said".
Until I dragged it kicking & screaming into the light.
No more Star Chamber meetings of the Gen X Bears Chicago to determine if I was a "sexual predator". No more hushed whispers from people who never met me. No more odd stares at the bar or updates from my friends about how I was sounding worse than John Wayne Gacy. I put my foot down and told the "authorities" involved that it was their moral duty to have me arrested if the charges were true, and to have my accuser step forward to "protect" all those children he knew.
After 5 months, it died, right then & there.
THIS is how I deal with drama. I show it daylight and watch it burn.
My reply follows the last two e-mails I received.
"-----Original Message-----
From: CABearCub [you don't really need his e-mail addy, do you?]
Sent: Sunday, December 15, 2002 4:49 AM
To: devilbair@attbi.com
Subject: You need to edit your last journal entry
you just made a PUBLIC post, including personal conversations between the two of us, where I said confidential things to you that were noone else's business but yours. You have people who read your journal who not only don't like me, but have gone out of their way to hurt in the past. You have just given them more ammunition to hurt me.
What kind of person are you? You've tried to pretend that you are the innocent victim in all of this...but now, you've committed an act far worse that I or traderbear have done. Trader threw out a bunch of vague references to my journal that was friends only. YOU are making a public post with extremely personal information about me.
[Edited at request of CABearCub]. If you maintain this kind of information on your live journal, it not only speaks to what kind of person you REALLY are, I will fight you on it."
______________________________________________________________________________________
"Tell me how the post you just made does NOT make you a hypocrite from everything you've said in my journal while trying to defend traderbear?
you are mad because I can't 100% trust you? Are you kidding?
You proved everything I said. Do you think the people that read it are going to look at you in a positive light?"
______________________________________________________________________________________
"Charles,
Frankly, I don’t believe in deception. You seem to thrive on sowing misinformation amongst people (a prime example being telling people that Trader Bear DIRECTLY accused them of using your journal as info fodder) and I’m not going to allow it.
Out of respect for you, I will edit the part concerning your past misfortune. That isn’t really relevant.
However, I WILL keep those conversations up, which I am legally free to do.
There will be no fight. I’m too over the attempts at manipulation you’ve tried on me to care. Call LiveJournal, rally your friends in another LJ hate entry, I don’t much care.
It’s called accountability, Charles. You’re words speak for themselves, and if you cannot stand by them, then frankly you need to not say them. I will not mask this BS attempt at Springer drama with hushed backroom privacy. You treat LJ as your own personal stage; I’m turning your own forum back on you. Aside from the ONE snippet of info, I see no overtly personal information. I’ll eliminate that before I post THIS, which I will be doing with ALL your correspondence until I see fit to not do so. Perhaps putting your desperate grabs at control out for the world to see will make them stop.
So, perhaps you should simply STOP sending me harridan attempts to pull my strings, eh?
I never really had your trust, nor do I want it. I was the pawn that allowed you a great platform for martyrdom. No longer. Oh, and by the way? I WAS your friend until you started playing head games with me.
Now, please be a good boy and leave me alone. I’ve asked you before, maybe you’ll finally get the point."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I know posting this all seems very heavy-handed, and I'm sorry if it offends any of my friends. I will NOT however, allow someone to manipulate me into being their LJ mindless puppet, and I maintain a right to use the same forum they do to get the truth of the matter across. If you find me cruel, I'm sorry, but I consider this whole exchange deplorable. Perhaps under the burden of daylight it will cease to be. If you feel I'm wrong, please tell me, but I've found this a valid approach to dealing with drama when it's heaped upon me in the real world.
Dollars to doughnuts it works HERE, too.
I believe in honesty. I believe that people should be held accountable for their words, ill, divine, or just plain mean. I do not like people who manipulate using e-mails and conversations to perform backstage work for LJ, which IS boys & girls, a public forum. If one finds themselves using LJ as a platform to launch manipulations at me, I'll take it away.
The best thing about drama like this is under daylight, it tries to crawl back to the rock it crawled out from under. It seems a bit heavy-handed, I know, but i've dealt with this before, and I've learned some valuable lessons.
Once, I was accused of rape by someone as part of social sport. This drove me to new heights of insane rages. This person accused me of taking underage boys to the woods and using chemicals to knock them unconcious before I forced myself on them. He accused me of doing this dozens upon dozens of times and swore he knew the victims. He kept the names from everyone "to protect the innocent". What he proceeded to do was to wage a campaign of whispers against me, using e-mails and clandestine conversations to "warn" everyone he could about me.
Everyone who knows me wrote it off, but I was furious because I had an experience earlier in my life that made me twist at the idea that someone had slandered me with the very thing I despise.
On it went for months. People heard all the info, and were treated to custom-made lies propagated by this person. In the end, it became a morass of "he said, he said".
Until I dragged it kicking & screaming into the light.
No more Star Chamber meetings of the Gen X Bears Chicago to determine if I was a "sexual predator". No more hushed whispers from people who never met me. No more odd stares at the bar or updates from my friends about how I was sounding worse than John Wayne Gacy. I put my foot down and told the "authorities" involved that it was their moral duty to have me arrested if the charges were true, and to have my accuser step forward to "protect" all those children he knew.
After 5 months, it died, right then & there.
THIS is how I deal with drama. I show it daylight and watch it burn.
My reply follows the last two e-mails I received.
"-----Original Message-----
From: CABearCub [you don't really need his e-mail addy, do you?]
Sent: Sunday, December 15, 2002 4:49 AM
To: devilbair@attbi.com
Subject: You need to edit your last journal entry
you just made a PUBLIC post, including personal conversations between the two of us, where I said confidential things to you that were noone else's business but yours. You have people who read your journal who not only don't like me, but have gone out of their way to hurt in the past. You have just given them more ammunition to hurt me.
What kind of person are you? You've tried to pretend that you are the innocent victim in all of this...but now, you've committed an act far worse that I or traderbear have done. Trader threw out a bunch of vague references to my journal that was friends only. YOU are making a public post with extremely personal information about me.
[Edited at request of CABearCub]. If you maintain this kind of information on your live journal, it not only speaks to what kind of person you REALLY are, I will fight you on it."
______________________________________________________________________________________
"Tell me how the post you just made does NOT make you a hypocrite from everything you've said in my journal while trying to defend traderbear?
you are mad because I can't 100% trust you? Are you kidding?
You proved everything I said. Do you think the people that read it are going to look at you in a positive light?"
______________________________________________________________________________________
"Charles,
Frankly, I don’t believe in deception. You seem to thrive on sowing misinformation amongst people (a prime example being telling people that Trader Bear DIRECTLY accused them of using your journal as info fodder) and I’m not going to allow it.
Out of respect for you, I will edit the part concerning your past misfortune. That isn’t really relevant.
However, I WILL keep those conversations up, which I am legally free to do.
There will be no fight. I’m too over the attempts at manipulation you’ve tried on me to care. Call LiveJournal, rally your friends in another LJ hate entry, I don’t much care.
It’s called accountability, Charles. You’re words speak for themselves, and if you cannot stand by them, then frankly you need to not say them. I will not mask this BS attempt at Springer drama with hushed backroom privacy. You treat LJ as your own personal stage; I’m turning your own forum back on you. Aside from the ONE snippet of info, I see no overtly personal information. I’ll eliminate that before I post THIS, which I will be doing with ALL your correspondence until I see fit to not do so. Perhaps putting your desperate grabs at control out for the world to see will make them stop.
So, perhaps you should simply STOP sending me harridan attempts to pull my strings, eh?
I never really had your trust, nor do I want it. I was the pawn that allowed you a great platform for martyrdom. No longer. Oh, and by the way? I WAS your friend until you started playing head games with me.
Now, please be a good boy and leave me alone. I’ve asked you before, maybe you’ll finally get the point."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I know posting this all seems very heavy-handed, and I'm sorry if it offends any of my friends. I will NOT however, allow someone to manipulate me into being their LJ mindless puppet, and I maintain a right to use the same forum they do to get the truth of the matter across. If you find me cruel, I'm sorry, but I consider this whole exchange deplorable. Perhaps under the burden of daylight it will cease to be. If you feel I'm wrong, please tell me, but I've found this a valid approach to dealing with drama when it's heaped upon me in the real world.
Dollars to doughnuts it works HERE, too.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
No, *I* am the victim...
Date: 2002-12-15 12:46 pm (UTC)Oh screw it. Who really cares. Just tank you for noting I'm not insane.
no subject
Date: 2002-12-15 12:41 pm (UTC)Second, so It doesnt seem Im taking sides (god forbid), I think Traderbear did go off on the deep end. EVERYONE has their moments. God only knows how many times *I* have had them in my life... saying things to get peoples attention and pity. I would like to find one person... especially a gay male, just one person that can tell me he doesnt feel down? Who DOESNT have some sort of drama in their life? Maybe Cabearcub post all his "drama" online so he can get feedback? Thats why I try. I want to know others opinions. I want HONEST opinions, to see if Im justified in what I feel. So for you, Traderbear, to go off on someone who is feeling down on themself.. god forbid they have rough patches in their life.. for shame.
But for all of it to go THIS far. To somehow get YOU, an person that wasnt even initially involved in this.. INVOLVED.. why? Matt you said it best in your last post comment... feel like you are in 6th grade again or something. Thats EXACTLY it. Do we need an older "teacher" here to call timeout on everyone? All ive seen is insults passed back by both of these GROWN UP ADULT MEN.. yet have they just tried to sit down and talk about this? NO. Of course not. What would that solve? Lets act immature and insult each other more. That will get this solved fast. Yes I know sometimes things cant be resolved so simply by just talking. But it doesnt hurt to try, eh?
Then if talking doesnt work.. I guess its time to take the earrings off and the high heels and go at it!
Eegads
Date: 2002-12-15 12:44 pm (UTC)Re: Eegads
Date: 2002-12-15 04:27 pm (UTC)Re: Eegads
Date: 2002-12-15 07:09 pm (UTC)Re: Eegads...WOOPS
Re: Eegads...WOOPS
Date: 2002-12-16 12:36 am (UTC)Data: Captain, I seem to have found a new life form.
Picard: What is it, Data?
Data: Unknown Sir, but it seems to have a connection to an ancient earth problem called "drama". More related to a form of communication that was found on "Live Journal".
Picard: Set your phaser to kill, Data. The line must be drawn here!
Hoooooo-kaaaayyyy...
Date: 2002-12-15 04:32 pm (UTC)1) Somebody waged a campaign of character assassination against you.
2) You brought it to light and called it what it was.
3) You now stand accused of violating somebody's trust and posting assumed to be private matters on LJ because you've called the accusing party on the carpet in an attempt to clear matters up.
4) Because of #3, you are now the bad guy and deserve everybody's wrath and scorn (grrr...).
Gee. Sounds like SOMEbody's a little surprised you hit back.